2: gunshots, akhirah, and lentils.

last night, i went down to oakland for taraweeh prayer. there were about six of us inside the masjid either finishing maghrib prayer of starting a juz when we hear loud music. moments later i hear what sounds like firecrackers...ya Allah, i wish they were firecrackers. i wait for my dad to finish his juz and as we begin to walk outside we hear police sirens. when we walk down the street there is a boy lying on the ground. covered in blood. it is a boy, not a man. my dad said he'd never seen anything like it. everyone was frantic...lots of crying and yelling. yellow tape everywhere, shell casings. we finally went back inside to make isha'a and taraweeh.

i am reading the newspaper now...14 year old ricardo cortez jr. was pronounced dead. he would have been a sophomore at far west high. ya Allah, have mercy on him. i cried/am crying. you know, right around 8:45 when he was shot, i was planning to walk around the corner to get some crackers because i was feeling a bit hungry. Allah knows best. had i walked, i would have witnessed this shooting first-hand and may have become a victim myself.

i don't have much to say now. ricardo's death puts a bit of a damper on my mood. as i am too mentally exhausted to type more, i will share a gchat conversation that was initiated in response to my facebook status message about taking advantage of these ramadan days:

o*: What did u mean by take advantage of these days exactly
me: make as make prayer and dua as possible
repent as much as possible
learn to love as much as possible
if these were ur last 30 days in dunya, how might they be spent
to secure a place in jannah

o*: Why's it gotta be all that?

me: it doesnt have to be all that for u
but that is what it is for me

o*: But how come
I agree u are 100% correct
I just wanna pick ur brain a lil

me: i think we are too wedded to this dunya. and the only way to make us more concerned abt al-akhirah is to constantly have death and hereafter in our minds. i was thinking abt the best time to die--and its during ramdan

or in sujood

but in some state of explicit ibadah

how can you not be forgiven

how you u not have mercy granted

o*: That's the deepest thing I've ever heard
But I really don't like thinking about death
That's not a healthy way to live

me: maybe not death, but hereafter
i think that is healthy

o*: I hate it

me: i remember the kind of person i was when i was living for this dunya
and i know the kind of person i am when i think abt the hereafter
and i like the latter more

o*: How are we not supposed to be wedded to this dunya?
Sometimes I think its unfair the cards we are dealt
With temptation and brainwashing and propaganda
The mind is capable of too much
And is too curious

these internets can facilitate some meaningful conversations. i am glad he messaged me...i needed to articulate this somehow.

my first day of fasting went beautifully. i read my juz before sunrise and read some of haykal's the life of muhammad a few hours ago.

iftar was lovely. you can look at the fruits of my labor below. lentil stew, brown rice, spinach, and wheat toast w/hummus. for desert--vegan oatmeal raisin cookie, green smoothie, and sliced nectarines. and lots of water.

the first night of ramdan began with the death of a youth, so i pray the end of ramadan is blessed with a beautiful birthing of some sort.